As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
