Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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