um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
