So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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