The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Can you bring me the toilet please
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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