Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
