Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
