my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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