im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
