I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
