great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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