you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize