I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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