The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
