He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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