We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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