True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
