I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you win again, gameday.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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