when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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