if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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