you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
