hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize