those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
did you just send me my own nude
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
