well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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