he wants to bone in the snuggie
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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