so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
