everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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