so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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