Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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