A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
