i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
