i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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