He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
