How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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