She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
