I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
