let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
