So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
