We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize