i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
