somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize