so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
