my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
