I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
