Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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