so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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