Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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