You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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