3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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