I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Randomize
