i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
