Me too!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
