It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
