Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
