I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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