where am i from again
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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