His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
