her vagine was all disorganized.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
