I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My bed smells like the plague
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
