You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this just has baby written all over it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you inspire me to be a worse person
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
