Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
